Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Day 2....I did it again

So this is fay teo of my weight loss journey. Im dtarting yo get thr hang of this meal ptepping thing although font get me wrong, theres definitely some yime involved. One of the things that i am noticing already is that i think of food much less now that i know exactly what im eating. It kind of takes the fun out of it...im guessing thats the point.
Topaz told me.she almost stopped for a burger today. As much as i love that she is taking this plunge with me, i think i would be okay if i had to do it on my own. This time i really want to prove to myself that i can be more disciplined when it comes to what i am putting in my body. Although my food doesnt look or taste like im used to it tasting, probably because of all the fat shit i was eating, i dont feel guilty when i stuff my face with salad. Im actually kind of proud of myself. My lowest moment though was when i almost crapped my pants this morning. A combination of my metformin, all this water, and all.this roughage has my colon in an uproar. Im sooo glad i was still home when that happened. That would have been insanely tragic. I think im ready to start working out. Ive set a goal to start next week but i want to choose my gym by Friday. Part of me wants to start the $10 gym and when i meet my goal to go at least 4 times a week, i will reward myself with a Y or Amfam membership. I dont know. Still working that out in my mind.
I wish i would have stuck to this before. But i need to forgive myself and try better this time. Self...i forgive you for giving up and going back to ways of eating and living that had not suited me well. I forgive myself for not loving my body enough to take care of it. But im going to change. Im already changing...internally. please God help me.discipline myself in all areas of my life. I must commit and stick with it starting with myself. No compromises or rationalization...even now, i owe myself another glass of watet and im going to meet my.goal for.day 2.

Day 2 down....met my food and water goal.  Yeah Me!!!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Bon Voyage... (inspired by the Puppies)

I've been needing a vacation for a while. Just a minute of serenity. No phones..no clients..no needs other than to wake up, figure out what i want to do and where i want to go without schedules, deadlines, paperwork, HIPAA, etc.  But i keep making all these excuses as to how it wouldnt be the right time or the financial sacrifice involved in taking a few days off and going somewhere sunny.

Then yesterday, my neighbor's dog went into labor and he asked me for a substantial amount of money because he thought the puppies were stuck. First of all, I had no idea delivering puppies cost so darn much, but the distress of my neighbor and Naomi, the very cute miniature schnauzer persuaded me to consider trying to help. It actually didnt take long, or much convincing myself because I didnt want the dog to die or my neighbor to be sad. Then somewhere on the way, I remembered my vacation. I remembered how hard I am on myself to treat myself to the things that help me find rest, balance, or peace of mind and yet how quick I am to push all of those same reservations aside for my friends, or even for this neighbor who is only a recent acquaintance.  And I asked myself a very important question..."when will you be worth the sacrifice you so readily give to others?"

Love of self is a prerequisite to both giving and receiving love from others. And no one will truly be able to love me until I show them how. So, that being said, I let my neighbor handle his own situation (although I was still prepared to help) and luckily there are 4 very cute puppies three doors down from me (and it only set me back 1/4 of what we thought because she had them on her own at home) AND I have finally found the resolve to take the vacation I need...

Sometimes we make money an issue when its not a money thing...its a mindset thing. We invest in what and who we want to, the question is about the quality of the choices we make. Its never wrong to give or to love, I am learning, but it is wrong to do so to the point where you dont have what you need to stay balanced or to do so with the expectation that others will take care of you when you need them to. Sometimes they will...but always God will...so invest yourself in kingdom things and dont forget to put a little aside when breaks are needed. God wants a "broken" vessel..not a broke down one

..and so with that being said...BLUE WATER HERE I COME
...and WHY?..."Because I'm worth it.."